The nicht drave on wi’ sangs an’ clatter;

An aye the ale wis growin better:

This is the part of your evening when the guests get stuck in. There are many poems and songs of Burns to be performed and, if your toastmaster has done his job, all will be willing to join in.

 Your best singers should be selected for a heartfelt rendition of Ae Fond Kiss. Your best male vocalist could perhaps perform A Red Red Rose. You could enlist your male guests to sing a rousing For a’ That. If you have a shepherdess in your company, and these days who hasn’t, then a blast of Ca’ the Yowes would go down a treat.

 A recital of Holy Willie’s Prayer could be thrown in for good measure with your speaker suitably attired in a night shirt whilst carrying a candle. Preferably not lit.

 On to the community singing where a rousing renditions of Green Grow the Rashes O could be followed by Banks O Doon.

 An Eight some Reel, a Dashing White Sergeant and an old fashioned waltz could bring your evening to a timely close.

 The possibilities are numerous but your evening should always close with Auld Lang Syne.

 After a three cheers for the hosts you can pour your guests into their “carriages” and wave them goodbye after a glorious evening’s entertainment.

 Roll on next year.

 Yours aye

 Tam O Shanter

I recall a Burns Supper when I had to give the vote of thanks at the closing of the main event. The table on my right had had a great evening and most were in the “worse for wear” category. I opened my remarks by asking if “The Immortal Memory” was a bit of a misnomer as the table on my right are all “mortal” tonight and their memory of the evening’s events will be very poor tomorrow.

When hosting your own Burns Supper the best bit is that you are in charge. You can advise your guest speakers on exactly what sort of speech you would like them to give. 

 The Immortal Memory, your most important speech of the evening, can be based on many aspects of Burns life and work.

For a small informal gathering I would suggest that you get your speaker to consider a 25%/75% split. The 25% being a somewhat serious resume of Burns working life, farmer, excise man and poet, complete with a few quotations. The 75% being a light hearted look at Burns as a man who enjoyed a wee dram, and the company of the ladies. Robert Burns was a remarkable Scot and has given your speakers plenty of scope for their talents

The Toast to the Lasses should be given by the joker amongst your guests.  This speech should poke fun at the gentler sex and all the baggage that goes with them. Wives, girl friends, work mates, mothers in law, daughters should all provide some good material for this speech. The speaker should always remember that, if in mixed company, his speech should always socially acceptable.

I still remember when a local, well known radio personality turned up at a supper to give the Toast to the Lasses. You can imagine his surprise to find that it was not a stag dinner but one attended by the local dignitaries and their wives and girl friends. What could he do? His speech was written and no time to prepare another. He gave his speech, chapter and verse. The silence after the delivery was deafening and he was asked to be removed from the premises by the wife of the Chairman. You have been warned.

The reply to the “Toast to the Lasses” can best be described as payback. This is when the gentler sex have “open season” on their male counterparts. Everything goes with nothing held back. I’ve not been to supper yet where a man has been offended. Work, strong drink, driving, football, and golf the list is endless. A short visit to google and a joke section should provide your guest speaker with ample material.

Always remember that Burns enjoyed an evening of “Sangs and clatter”, let your supper be the same.

Yours aye

Tam O Shanter

One of the often missed opportunities for a bit o fun at your supper is when you do not have a Toastmaster. You have all your friends gathered for the evening, slightly liberated due to your excellent hospitality and not to take advantage of their shortcomings in year gone past is an absolute sin.

 Prior to your supper you must ask around your circle of friends to glean information on any calamities that have visited upon any of your guests in the previous year. Your toastmaster could do the same and after comparing notes a range of “Toasts” could be prepared.

 What sort of thing are you looking for?

 WARNING!!! (Depending on how much ale you have provided for your guests your toastmaster would have to gauge the level of acceptable situations where “The Toast” would provide a bit o fun without offending.) Let’s see…hmmm.

 If one or more of your guests have had a mishap with their car during the year the toast could go something like this…

 (Your toastmaster stands and rattles the dinner table with his spoon to get attention and continues with great gusto….)

 “Ladies and gentlemen…your Chairman would like to take wine with all those in our company who have crashed their car this last year and the toast is…. crashed cars”

 At this juncture the Chairman and all those who have crashed their car during the year rise and toast “Crashed cars.”

 “Ladies and gentlemen…your Chairman would like to take wine with all those in our company who have returned home late one evening rather the worse for wear and found themselves locked out of the family home and the toast is …locked out”

 All those who have been locked out should stand and take wine with the Chairman.

 I’m sure that you are now getting the idea and depending on your company the toasts could get a little more risqué as the evening wears on.

 Your Toastmasters final toast should always be:

 “Ladies and gentlemen…your chairman would like to take wine with all those in our company with whom he has not yet taken wine and the toast is …Maybe next year”

 This toast ensures that all your guests get a chance to “take wine” with the chairman.

 A final word of warning! Don’t let your Toastmaster get carried away with the number of toasts during your supper. Too many toasts could mean some of your guests might have to be carried away.

 Yours aye

 Tam O Shanter

 PS Click on Burns Supper Kit in the Links section to get some more info on Hosting your own Burns Supper at home.