One of the often missed opportunities for a bit o fun at your supper is when you do not have a Toastmaster. You have all your friends gathered for the evening, slightly liberated due to your excellent hospitality and not to take advantage of their shortcomings in year gone past is an absolute sin.

 Prior to your supper you must ask around your circle of friends to glean information on any calamities that have visited upon any of your guests in the previous year. Your toastmaster could do the same and after comparing notes a range of “Toasts” could be prepared.

 What sort of thing are you looking for?

 WARNING!!! (Depending on how much ale you have provided for your guests your toastmaster would have to gauge the level of acceptable situations where “The Toast” would provide a bit o fun without offending.) Let’s see…hmmm.

 If one or more of your guests have had a mishap with their car during the year the toast could go something like this…

 (Your toastmaster stands and rattles the dinner table with his spoon to get attention and continues with great gusto….)

 “Ladies and gentlemen…your Chairman would like to take wine with all those in our company who have crashed their car this last year and the toast is…. crashed cars”

 At this juncture the Chairman and all those who have crashed their car during the year rise and toast “Crashed cars.”

 “Ladies and gentlemen…your Chairman would like to take wine with all those in our company who have returned home late one evening rather the worse for wear and found themselves locked out of the family home and the toast is …locked out”

 All those who have been locked out should stand and take wine with the Chairman.

 I’m sure that you are now getting the idea and depending on your company the toasts could get a little more risqué as the evening wears on.

 Your Toastmasters final toast should always be:

 “Ladies and gentlemen…your chairman would like to take wine with all those in our company with whom he has not yet taken wine and the toast is …Maybe next year”

 This toast ensures that all your guests get a chance to “take wine” with the chairman.

 A final word of warning! Don’t let your Toastmaster get carried away with the number of toasts during your supper. Too many toasts could mean some of your guests might have to be carried away.

 Yours aye

 Tam O Shanter

 PS Click on Burns Supper Kit in the Links section to get some more info on Hosting your own Burns Supper at home.