In my continuing blog on hosting a Burns Supper I will now review the “Address to the Haggis.”

 Your Haggis has been piped to the table. The Piper and Chef have had their dram and it is now time for the traditional “Address to the Haggis.” You should have a knife and cloth at the table for your speaker to “dicht his knife” during the address

 Your honoured guest should hopefully have spent most of his sober time since Hogmanay learning the lines to this most famous poem. Now is his opportunity to avail your company of his wit and charm as he gives the address.

 Please advise your speaker to take his time; I have seen many “Burns Supper Addresses” ruined by a speaker who appears too desperate to get to his next dram.

 There are many interactions between the words and gestures when giving the address. The idea is for your company to be entertained whilst maintaining the dignity of the great Haggis. It is not my intention to provide a template for the address but would ask you to get your speaker to visit youtube.com and type in “address to the haggis” in the search button to get some ideas from past masters of this famous address.

 Yours aye,

 Tam O Shanter